to see positivity and breathe it
Emotion. I have it. I am an emotional being just like the rest of the world but I am too emotional. I just have too much emotions that multiply by the second but I have no means to dispense of it properly. Most of the time they get pent up and I rely on my few favorites to release all of it on. They usually get fed up and are probably tired of me at this point.
I don’t know what to do. I just know what I want and what I want is to let go of it. I don’t know if the right thing to do is just accept it and let it be or change my entirety. If you’re naturally emotional can you actually tell your feelings to go away? But doesn’t it just pile up and eventually want to break free like an angry Godzilla? what to do I really don’t know.
Maybe what I want isn’t all that clear. It’s what I don’t want that I can articulate. I don’t want too have a cloud over my head anymore. I don’t want to be a person that’s almost bipolar, having feelings polarizing each other in different environments. Extremely happy amongst friends, sometimes family but then on most days just down and angry at home. I just want to be in the middle. I want to be okay even if it means not feeling exhilarated. I don’t want to cause pain, I don’t want to be crying by myself at night or when I’m alone. I don’t want to be misunderstood anymore.
I’m so tired of hearing everything negative about me from people who don’t even show any effort of trying to understand me. They just give you bullet points of everything ugly about you and then expect you to fix yourself with no explanations, no support.
If there’s something that needs to be fixed to achieve that I’d gladly do that but I don’t know where to start. Where do I go? Who do I talk to? What do I change?
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